The Intruder!

 Saba Khan

Whenever I wake up in the morning, I search for the intruders in my mind, whether they have come back or not. But it seems they also wake up with me. The continuous cycle of useless thoughts that run on auto and I am really fed up of all this. The thoughts are usually about the memory of the photos taken in the past, which say that either the background is not good enough or the photo itself is not good enough. It should have been like this or that. The dissection of the scenario begins, which seems very absurd. We take photos so that we can look back at them in future as a memory of the past. But it gets very disturbing at times, because we create something for the future to be connected with the past. Isn’t it ridiculous? This cycle of thoughts has been on auto for a long duration of time. I used to justify the images by offering one explanation and then another. Why was I even doing that? In order to defend an action which was taken in the past? Then one day I came to the conclusion that this can go on no longer. I am fed up of all this. In the words of Eckhart Tolle, “I cannot live with myself any longer”. Then I came to understand that I was answering my thoughts which were actually my ego speaking, for not being good enough.

Our ego attaches itself to certain things or images to identify with and then it sabotages us for not being good enough or for more. Nothing seems to satisfy us, whether we have it or we don’t. So, is there a way out? The good news is that, yes there is. Once we recognize that the voice in our head is not us, the problem is solved. We come to terms with the fact that whatever it is is ‘is’. There is nothing before or after. Our mind culminates stories, because of its conditioning and we have been unconscious for so long that we have allowed it to do so. The moment we become aware of it, it creates a space between us and our thoughts and then there comes peace.

Image courtesy 'Pixaby'